Representative Kera Birkeland proposes the following substitute bill:


1     
HOUSE RESOLUTION HONORING DONOVAN MITCHELL

2     
OVER SHAQUILLE O'NEAL

3     
2021 GENERAL SESSION

4     
STATE OF UTAH

5     
Chief Sponsor: Kera Birkeland

6     

7     LONG TITLE
8     General Description:
9          This resolution honors Utah Jazz All-Star Donovan Mitchell.
10     Highlighted Provisions:
11          This resolution:
12          ▸     recognizes the exemplary service of Donovan Mitchell to the Utah Jazz and the
13     Utah community; and
14          ▸     suggests consideration of making the "Spida" the official state arachnid.
15     Special Clauses:
16          None
17     

18     Be it resolved by the House of Representatives of the state of Utah:
19          WHEREAS, the Utah Jazz are a beloved part of the Utah community and the National
20     Basketball Assocation (NBA);
21          WHEREAS, in Utah, we support our players when they face awkward abuse during
22     post-game interviews disguised as pep talks;
23          WHEREAS, the claim by Shaquille O'Neal (Shaq) on January 21, 2021, that Utah Jazz
24     All-Star Donovan Mitchell Jr. (Donovan) doesn't have what it takes to get to the next level is
25     even less accurate than his 50.4% playoff free-throw percentage (slightly worse than Donovan's

26     88.1%);
27          WHEREAS, the Jazz eliminated Shaq and the Los Angeles Lakers from the playoffs in
28     1997 (4-1) and 1998 (4-0);
29          WHEREAS, we are not talking about 2000, 2001, 2002, or 2006 right now, the years in
30     which Kobe Bryant's Los Angeles Lakers and Dwayne Wade's Miami Heat won championships
31     for Shaq;
32          WHEREAS, Kazaam has a 5% rating on rotten tomatoes;
33          WHEREAS, Shaq under-develops his hot takes almost as well as his 1990's "Shaq Fu"
34     video game;
35          WHEREAS, Shaq correctly described Donovan as an elite scorer, given that in just his
36     third NBA season during the 2020 playoffs, Donovan became the third player in NBA history
37     to have at least two 50-point games in a single playoff series (joining Michael Jordan in his
38     fourth season and Allen Iverson in his third season);
39          WHEREAS, on the same night that Shaq disparaged Donovan, Donovan made his
40     600th three-pointer earlier in his career than any other player in the history of the NBA;
41          WHEREAS, as of January 26, 2020, Donovan has drained 1995 field goals, 604
42     3-pointers, and 894 free-throws;
43          WHEREAS, Donovan Mitchell is more than just a scorer, having grabbed 982
44     rebounds, swatted 79 blocks, and picked 306 steals for the Jazz, as of January 26, 2021;
45          WHEREAS, it is hard to pull down rebounds when All-Star Rudy Gobert is on your
46     team, grabbing more rebounds than anyone else in the league as a two-time defensive player of
47     the year (more than Shaq's zero), one-time league leader in blocks (more than Shaq's zero), and
48     four-time All-Defensive 1st Teamer (more than Shaq's zero);
49          WHEREAS, although Shaq's "skill" was being bigger than everyone else, Donovan has
50     progressively succeeded through talent, dedication, and constant effort;
51          WHEREAS, the following immortal words, once spoken by Bill Walton, apply equally
52     to Donovan, "He is a champion of basketball and of the human spirit as well";
53          WHEREAS, Donovan has provided backpacks, school supplies, and most importantly,
54     his time, to Utah students;
55          WHEREAS, Donovan launched the SPIDACARES, a foundation to empower women
56     following the example set by his mother and sister; and

57          WHEREAS, Donovan has consistently demonstrated his decency by freely and
58     abundantly giving to local communities and charities while volunteering his time to help his
59     fellow Utahns:
60          NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that the House of Representatives of the
61     State of Utah recognizes the exemplary service of Donovan Mitchell Jr. to the Utah Jazz and to
62     the people of the great state of Utah.
63          BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the House of Representatives consider making the
64     "Spida" the official state arachnid.
65          BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the House of Representatives also recognizes the
66     tremendous impact Shaquille O'Neal, one of the all-time NBA greats, has made in communities
67     throughout the United States through generous donations of his time and resources.
68          BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED "Aight. That's it."